One Flesh 
In November 1999 it seemed that the Lord wanted the writings which are published on this web site to be rearranged from alphabetical order to date order to enable the spiritually growing Christian to follow a path that had already been trodden, as it were. 
Because our journey is one of distance and time and the path out from the prince of this world unto that of the spiritual "way", to the presence of the throne of the Majesty on high, is so full of Satan's red herrings, many truths that the Bible teaches us are just not understood and further, can frighten the "average christian". 
This book is therefore to be read by the born again believer who is seeking to worship God in Spirit and in Truth. As there are many teachings herein that will be found unpalatable to the "fleshy christian" or the "babe in Christ"; those who are still consuming the milk of the word of God are pleaded with to refrain from reading this publication until they are prepared to follow the Lord Jesus Christ "unto blood". 
This is such a large subject and so illuminates the Christian walk of mankind that the Lord saw fit to feed this writer with small, digestible bites at a time, over a period of years, and has used other brothers and sisters to point out certain angles that would otherwise not have been included for our knowledge and blessings. 
What a wonderful word the Bible is, under the empowerment of the Holy Spirit of God. Hallelujah! 
Oh, the magnificent majesty and mercy of God! Ever since the days of the wanderings of the children of Israel in the desert, He has said through His servants : 
But to Israel he saith, All day long I have stretched forth my hands unto a disobedient and gainsaying people. 
(Romans 10:21)
And in the following writings we shall see how He has continued to call all mankind, we that are made in His image, to worship Him in Spirit and in Truth - to have no other Gods more important than Him. 
From reading the Scriptures, we know that "the law and the prophets" are still applicable to us, nor shall "one tittle" be removed therefrom. 
We shall therefore examine the relevant Scriptures in the matter under discussion, both in the Old Covenant and in the New, to find out God's will so that we can be privileged to be obedient to it. 
If ye love me, keep my commandments. And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I live, ye shall live also. At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you. He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him. 
(John 14:15-21)
He that loveth me not keepeth not my sayings: and the word which ye hear is not mine, but the Father's which sent me. 
(John 14:24)
Someone once wrote: If we belong to God, His promises belong to us. 
May this quotation apply to you and may the reality of God's presence round about you every moment of your life be able to strengthen you at all times. 
Just yesterday a fellow Christian was sharing how God's Providence was present in his life, evidence that God was still faithful, encouraging him to continue to the end. Without a commitment to God these things would not happen. 
Someone else wrote They that watch for Providence will never want a Providence to watch for. 
To fully understand the potential and receive the blessings of this teaching, it's recommended that the first three parts of Heart of the Gospel be read or reread and understood. I'll go so far as to state that without understanding the ramifications of the Blood Covenant, very few will understand this teaching fully. 
What does the phrase "One Flesh" really mean? 
Wedlock in its most perfect form, means that the two people who are One Flesh are totally in accord in all walks of life, doing their utmost to please their other half. When they are separated by distance they are two halves of the whole and feel anxious until the whole is together again; and the phrase therefore doesn't solely mean the oneness of the marriage bed. 
The perfect example of Oneness is that between Jesus Christ and His Father. To save mankind, which was the purpose of the Messiah coming onto the earth, He had to take over the sins of mankind and die for us. As He stated in John chapter fifteen Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. 
However this was no mere man, but part of the Godhead; God actually came down and allowed Himself to be killed by those whom He had made, for the "grand plan" to become effective. This was agreed to by God and the person that we know as the Lord Jesus Christ. Because they are one in purpose, mankind was shown a door into heaven that heretofore was closed and bolted due to the sin of Adam. 
If we study the following passages of Scripture carefully in the light of the above, we begin to get the idea of "One Flesh". 
Jesus cried and said, He that believeth on me, believeth not on me, but on him that sent me. And he that seeth me seeth him that sent me. 
(John 12:44-45)
For I have not spoken of myself; but the Father which sent me, he gave me a commandment, what I should say, and what I should speak. And I know that his commandment is life everlasting: whatsoever I speak therefore, even as the Father said unto me, so I speak. 
(John 12:49-50)
Therefore, when he was gone out, Jesus said, Now is the Son of man glorified, and God is glorified in him. If God be glorified in him, God shall also glorify him in himself, and shall straightway glorify him. 
(John 13:31-32)
These words spake Jesus, and lifted up his eyes to heaven, and said, Father, the hour is come; glorify thy Son, that thy Son also may glorify thee: As thou hast given him power over all flesh, that he should give eternal life to as many as thou hast given him. And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent. I have glorified thee on the earth: I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do. And now, O Father, glorify thou me with thine own self with the glory which I had with thee before the world was. I have manifested thy name unto the men which thou gavest me out of the world: thine they were, and thou gavest them me; and they have kept thy word. Now they have known that all things whatsoever thou hast given me are of thee. For I have given unto them the words which thou gavest me; and they have received them, and have known surely that I came out from thee, and they have believed that thou didst send me. 
(John 17:1-8)
And all mine are thine, and thine are mine; and I am glorified in them. And now I am no more in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to thee. Holy Father, keep through thine own name those whom thou hast given me, that they may be one, as we are
(John 17:10-11)
As thou hast sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world. And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth. Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one: I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me. Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am; that they may behold my glory, which thou hast given me: for thou lovedst me before the foundation of the world. O righteous Father, the world hath not known thee: but I have known thee, and these have known that thou hast sent me. And I have declared unto them thy name, and will declare it: that the love wherewith thou hast loved me may be in them, and I in them. 
(John 17:18-26)
You know, what isn't fully realised by mankind is the extent of the love and obedience that the Son has for His Father. A little of it shines through when we read the above, but this oneness, this singleness of purpose is so above the imagination of paltry men that we can only wonder at it and mere words are not descriptive enough to lay out the depth of this supernatural relationship between two perfect spiritual beings. 
What is so magnificent and majestic is the undisputed fact that the Son joyfully - for the love of the Father - obeyed the Father's wishes and willingly humbled Himself, came onto the earth in a fleshly body called Jesus of Nazareth and allowed those that He had created, to whip, torture and spill His blood out. All this so that mankind could have the chance of being reconciled and deemed again from the sin of Adam by God the Father and Creator of all. 
We, the children of Abraham, should be one with our Lord, Jesus Christ, in a similar manner; and to help us understand how to do so, and the pitfalls that Satan puts in the way, we have been given the example of the marriage covenant that we experience on a daily basis in the world, guided by the teachings in that wonderful living book, the Bible. That this collection of words is there for us through the supernatural power of God is undoubted, even though Satan has done his best to change its contents, lessening its value to save. 
So, let's carry on and see what's in store for all of us. 
Firstly a passage of Scripture that is disputed by some, but nonetheless comes from the throne room of God: 
But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. 
(1 Corinthians 11:3)
We see here that there is a divine order, levels of authority laid out by God and we must realise that if we obey God's authority we shall be blessed. 
With that out of the way, let's also say that we will leave the milk of Christian doctrine behind us and are now about to digest some tough spiritual meat. 
And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ. I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able. For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men? 
(1 Corinthians 3:1-3)
Therefore leaving the principles of the doctrine of Christ, let us go on unto perfection; not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works, and of faith toward God, Of the doctrine of baptisms, and of laying on of hands, and of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgment. And this will we do, if God permit. 
(Hebrews 6:1-3)
Another factor that we should bear in mind while studying this writing is that of the differences of culture. Our modern culture is far removed from that of the Bible and we must understand the culture and customs of the time before we can understand the teaching of the time that uses that culture as examples. 
From reading Behold the Bridegroom Comes and studying the Bible, we understand something of the marriage customs of the Jews of the time. We gather firstly that virgin daughters were under strict parental control and secondly that marriages were arranged for their daughters. It's yet so on many parts of the globe. 
In certain European countries, we still have the tradition of the chaperone, an aunt or older relative of the girl being courted being present (three is a crowd) so that matters of the heart don't get out of hand. This helps ensure that the girl remains a virgin until her wedding night. 
In England the United States and other "western" Nations, this custom has fallen away to such an extent that very often parents don't know where their daughters spend their leisure hours, sometimes even supplying contraceptives to their children to avoid embarrassment to themselves. Often it's reported in the press of the police bringing young girls of fifteen and sixteen home from drug raids, the parents sometimes being horrified and sometimes having a couldn't care attitude. 
In Africa, the culture of the indigenous people is completely different and promiscuity is a way of life. It's not uncommon for a wife to have numerous casual affairs with various passing acquaintances on a daily basis. Even the marriage customs encourage this, because a girl must fall pregnant and bear at least one healthy child before she is accepted as being suitable for wifely duties. This is accepted with the parents of the girl and now the young man is in their power, for they can wring as much lobola (bride price) from him as he can bear. Even uncles and aunts are in on the deal. 
It must be apparent to everyone that the moral standards of the world (Satan's kingdom) have degenerated greatly in the last century and the real reason is not hard to find; the "falling away" from God's wishes and the rise of the great I. I want, I wish, I need, etc. This is Satan's weapon and even that great "free" nation, the USA, can say to other weaker nations "do as I say or else" through its President. 
However, to get back to the subject in hand, it can be understood that cutting through the cultures of all the nations of the world are God's laws - that we should obey for our own protection and do, because we love Him and can demonstrate our love in obedience. 
This is a great truth and is stressed here: the amount of love (agapé) that we bear our Creator is in direct proportion to the amount of obedience that we have for His wishes. And we can all categorically state that God is a righteous God that cares for us and won't ask us to do anything to our eternal detriment. 
Someone once wrote: Obedience is the fruit of faith; patience, the bloom on the fruit. 
Moreover, God takes delight in manifesting Himself to those who love Him on this present world - imagine what it's going to be like in the New Jerusalem! 
He brought me forth also into a large place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me. The LORD rewarded me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands hath he recompensed me. 
(Psalms 18:19-20) 
Chapter One 
God's Laws for Marriage 
Both Equal 
To clear some smoke away before we go any further: it must be realised that in God's eyes, all Christians, both male and female, are equal; all are the spiritual bride of Christ. 
For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus. 
(Galatians 3:27-28)
One Flesh 
Recently, the world watched as the Queen of England's youngest son, Edward, was married to his sweetheart, Sophie. Fortunately someone taped the ceremony so that the words and promises could be transcribed. 
Please read them with care, because God's law of matrimony applies to every person on the face of the earth, whether they are married in church; or in a Christian, or pagan ceremony. Marriage is ordained of God. 
Words in brackets and those emphasised, are by this writer. 
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God and in the face of this congregation, to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony, which is an honourable estate, instituted of God Himself, signifying to us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and His church, which holy estate, Christ, adorned and beautified with His presence and first miracle that He wrought in Cana of Galilee. And it's commended in Holy Writ to be honourable among all men and therefore is not by any to be enterprised nor taken in hand unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly; but reverently, discreetly, soberly and in the fear of God. 
Duly considering the causes for which matrimony was ordained. 
First, it was ordained for the increase of mankind according to the will of God and that children might be brought up in the fear and nurture of the Lord and to the praise of His Holy Name. 
Secondly it was ordained that the natural instincts and affections implanted by God should be hallowed and directed aright, that those who are called of God to this holy estate, should continue therein in pureness of living. 
Thirdly it was ordained for the mutual society, help and comfort that the one aught to have of the other, both in prosperity and adversity. 
Into which holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined. 
Therefore if any man can show any just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak or else, hereafter, forever hold his peace. 
(A hymn was sung) 
I require and charge you both, as you will answer at the dreadful day of judgement, when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of you know any impediment why you may not be lawfully joined together in matrimony, ye do now confess it, for be well assured that so many as are coupled together otherwise as God's word doth allow, are not joined together by God, neither is their matrimony lawful. 
Edward, wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife, to live together according to God's law in the holy estate of matrimony, wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour and keep her, in sickness and in health and forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her so long as ye both shall live? 
"I will." 
"I will." 
Who giveth this woman to be married to this man? (Here we see the authority for the woman transferred from the father to the bridegroom. She is given in marriage.) 
I, Edward Anthony Richard Louis (EARL), take thee Sophie Helen, to my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law, and thereto, I give thee my troth. (vow)(he here offers her a lifetime covenant) 
I, Sophie Helen.....and obey, ..... troth. (They have now made a covenant vow to each other) 
(The following is a prayer) 
Bless, oh Lord this ring, which we hallow in thy name, that he who gives it and she who wears it, may abide in thy peace, continue in thy favour, go on and grow old in thy love, through Jesus Christ our Lord. 
The ring is put on and the following is repeated by the bridegroom. 
With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee honour, and all my worldly goods, with thee I share, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost. Amen. (Here the bridegroom makes an oath before God Himself,) 
(Another prayer) 
Oh, eternal God, Creator and Preserver of all mankind, Giver of all Spiritual grace, the Author of everlasting life, send thy blessing upon these thy servants, this man and this woman whom ye bless in thy name, that living faithfully together, they may surely perform and keep the vow and covenant betwixt them made, whereof this ring given and received is a token and pledge, and may ever remain in perfect love and peace together, and live according to thy laws, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen 
They now join their right hands - here's the covenant ceremony! 
(The Bishop speaks:) 
Those whom God hath joined together, let no man put asunder. 
Forasmuch as Edward and Sophie have consented together in holy wedlock (they are locked together) and have witnessed the same before God and this company and thereto have given and pledged their troth, either to other and have declared the same by giving and receiving of a ring and by joining of (right) hands, I pronounce that they be man and wife together in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost. Amen. 
(Then comes a benediction:) 
God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Ghost, bless, preserve and keep you; the Lord, mercifully with His favour look upon you and so fill you with all spiritual benediction and grace, that ye may so live together in this life, that in the world to come, ye may have life everlasting. Amen 
(End of marriage ceremony.) 
How can any Christian even think of divorce after this? 
We have seen, through the marriage ceremony of Edward and Sophie, that prior to that ceremony they agreed to get married, but only at that ceremony: 
  • They were gathered together in the sight of God, understanding that marriage is instituted of God Himself and is written down in Holy Writ (the Bible) for anyone to understand. 
  • They understood that the first reason for marriage was to increase mankind; to have children, whom they were to bring up to reverence God. 
  • It was made clear that marriage was there for their mutual benefit, that the new whole (oneness) was previously made up of two halves. 
  • They each then made a covenant vow - they plighted their troth to each other. They became betrothed (be-troth-ed). 
  • They joined right hands as each accepted the other's vow. An unbreakable covenant in the sight of God was now made and no-one could separate them in God's eyes this side of death. 
This marriage ceremony, with a few pagan frills added, is very similar to that of the Children of Israel and the Jews of the days of Jesus of Nazareth, except that the betrothal in those days was some months prior to the marriage feast and consummation of the union. 
However, we as Christians must be aware of the marriage customs of the Jews of the time because they are a shadow of the relationship between the heavenly Bridegroom (the Lord Jesus Christ) and the bride (born again Christians). 
The reason is that when we understand the customs and conditions of the Jewish marriage covenant, we shall understand what the Lord Jesus Christ (our betrothed) expects of us. 
And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. 
(Mark 10:2-12)
Here we see the Pharisees question Jesus of Nazareth about the law and that His reply goes beyond the law to the reason why the law was given. 
This passage also gives a clear indication of the perfect relationship between God and His Son, they are One "flesh". Although they may be two spiritual beings, their purpose is exactly the same, they are "One" and always have been, since before the world was. 
So what Jesus is saying here is that once a man and woman are united in marriage, besides physical union (oneness), they should be one in purpose. 
Brides are traditionally dressed in white to show purity (a virgin), not so. This comes from the understanding that the bride of Christ will be dressed in white raiment. 
One day when our Bridegroom comes to fetch us to the wedding feast, our faithfulness and obedience will be rewarded beyond what we can imagine. 
Remember therefore how thou hast received and heard, and hold fast, and repent. If therefore thou shalt not watch, I will come on thee as a thief, and thou shalt not know what hour I will come upon thee. Thou hast a few names even in Sardis which have not defiled their garments; and they shall walk with me in white: for they are worthy. He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his name before my Father, and before his angels. 
(Revelation 3:3-5)
White is also the royal colour of Israel. 
This is exactly opposite of what usually happens in marriage of worldly people - they are thinking of themselves and what they can each get out of it: "and if she (he) does things unacceptable to my way of thinking and it gets too unbearable, I can divorce her (him)." 
At this time I would like to insert a portion of an article from our local newspaper, dated Thursday 9 September 1999: 
Handy way of getting to kiss the bride early 
Cape Town - No longer, if the South African Law Commission has its way, will soon-to-be newly-weds, palms sweating, be required to grasp each other's right hand before their union can be legally concluded. 
The commission yesterday proposed doing away with the words "an thereupon the parties shall give each other the right hand" in the marriage formula. 
This is the final step before the marriage officer may state "I declare that AB and CD here present have been lawfully married." 
The proposal is contained in a discussion document on proposed changes to the Marriage Act. .... 
Some people even say that there is no Satan, that he is just some imaginary power! They loved not the knowledge of the truth. 
Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit saith the Lord 
Remember when you became born again, you had to submit your will to God, you had to repent of your worldly ways and come under His will. It was a decision you had to make, to give up living for you and to start living for Him. When you did this you enabled God's power to act on you and His Holy Spirit to bless you. 
Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. 
(James 4:10)
Someone once wrote: God does not commit Himself to the uncommitted. 
What was Adam's sin? He was uncommitted to God. This allowed Satan to control him through Eve, who was uncommitted to Adam. In today's parlance, if Adam had submitted his will to Him who made him and Eve had submitted to Adam, from whom and for whom she had been made, the whole of mankind would not be suffering at the hands of him to whom Adam gave God's gift. 
If the Children of Israel had been joyfully obedient to the Covenant that they made with God under Mount Sinai as described in Exodus chapter nineteen and obeyed the law as laid out in Exodus chapter twenty, then they would not have been cast out as a nation and taken into captivity as described in Jeremiah chapter thirty nine. Isaiah and Jeremiah warned them to come back into Covenant or God would abandon them as a nation; and after this happened and they were in Babylonia, Ezekiel did the same. God called them a hardhearted and rebellious people and only those who would submit themselves individually were blessed. The following names spring to mind - Joshua, Caleb, Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, Nehemiah, Zerubbabel. 
Why was Ruth blessed - submission. 
Let's take this teaching into our own lives, into our marriages. 
As we have already seen, God's divine order is as follows - God, Jesus Christ, man, woman. The Bible states that if the woman submits her will to her husband, God shall bless the marriage. If the man submits his will to Jesus Christ, God shall bless the marriage. 
Let's see how this works by reading the following scenario that explains God's idea of Covenant in marriage; which shall illuminate God's idea of Covenant with the Christian. 
As an introduction: 
And Moses spake unto the heads of the tribes concerning the children of Israel, saying, This is the thing which the LORD hath commanded. If a man vow a vow unto the LORD, or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth. ¶ If a woman also vow a vow unto the LORD, and bind herself by a bond, being in her father's house in her youth; And her father hear her vow, and her bond wherewith she hath bound her soul, and her father shall hold his peace at her: then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she hath bound her soul shall stand. But if her father disallow her in the day that he heareth; not any of her vows, or of her bonds wherewith she hath bound her soul, shall stand: and the LORD shall forgive her, because her father disallowed her. And if she had at all an husband, when she vowed, or uttered ought out of her lips, wherewith she bound her soul; And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her in the day that he heard it: then her vows shall stand, and her bonds wherewith she bound her soul shall stand. But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it; then he shall make her vow which she vowed, and that which she uttered with her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, of none effect: and the LORD shall forgive her. But every vow of a widow, and of her that is divorced, wherewith they have bound their souls, shall stand against her. And if she vowed in her husband's house, or bound her soul by a bond with an oath; And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her, and disallowed her not: then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she bound her soul shall stand. But if her husband hath utterly made them void on the day he heard them; then whatsoever proceeded out of her lips concerning her vows, or concerning the bond of her soul, shall not stand: her husband hath made them void; and the LORD shall forgive her. Every vow, and every binding oath to afflict the soul, her husband may establish it, or her husband may make it void. But if her husband altogether hold his peace at her from day to day; then he establisheth all her vows, or all her bonds, which are upon her: he confirmeth them, because he held his peace at her in the day that he heard them. But if he shall any ways make them void after that he hath heard them; then he shall bear her iniquity. 
(Numbers 30:1-15)
We see here that in each case the man must act promptly, he cannot "put things off" until another day. 
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. 
(Ephesians 5:21-33)
A man named Ben and woman named Anne fell in love, got married and said basically the same words together as Earl and Sophie did. Everything was wonderful as they explored each other and did things for each other joyfully. Because they both needed to work to keep up their accustomed lifestyle, they shared the chores of the common household and pulled together. They were a happy couple, always doing things in each other's company. Then they decided to have a child. When their daughter was born the strain of the extra work began to tell and they started to drift apart. On or about her fourth birthday, the daughter Dorothy was given a bottle of nail varnish like mom's and her daddy told her in no uncertain terms that she wasn't to open the bottle in her bedroom as the contents could permanently damage the furniture if spilt. One day daddy came into the house barefoot after leaving his wet and dirty footwear outside and on his way to put his slippers on heard his wife say to their child "Look what you have done, you've spilt the nail varnish on the coverlet of your bed; let's quickly clean it up before your father finds out." A few weeks later he heard his wife speaking to her mother on the telephone, openly discussing her marriage problems, because all of a sudden her husband had seemed to distance himself from her and the child. She carried on for quite a while and then listened patiently while her mother, whose two husbands had left her, gave solid motherly advice. At this time also, the wife gave up her outside work and stayed home to look after their growing family. Needless to say the couple drifted further apart than ever and the husband spent more time at the office, sometimes till after the children had gone to bed, because now he was only the policeman. When he did come home he was told - "this one and that one were naughty and disobedient today, do your fatherly duty and beat them, I can't handle them anymore and you're never here to support me." And when in anger and frustration at his wife he beat them more than they deserved, his wife turned on him and started trying to protect "her" children. Suddenly he was an ogre to his whole family. 
So he took up hunting and fishing. Hunting in the winter and fishing in the summer. Now he was hardly home at all, coming in for food and clean clothing only, spending weekdays at the office and weekends away with his cronies. Moreover he was starting to abuse alcohol and was on the point of becoming violent to his wife. In her time of nightmare and fear, the wife realised that she was partly responsible for the circumstances of the marriage and she turned to the Lord Jesus for succour. After a struggle on her own, something that she was used to by now, she humbled herself to God, confessing her sins and asking Him to forgive her of all the wrong that she had done in her life. In this circumstance of crisis and commitment she met the Lord Jesus Christ as her Saviour and received the blessing of the Comforter living inside her. 
She realised that she had been expecting her husband's praise, offended for not receiving it, for merely doing that which she has contracted to do in the marriage covenant: 
Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him. And the apostles said unto the Lord, Increase our faith. And the Lord said, If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you. But which of you, having a servant plowing or feeding cattle, will say unto him by and by, when he is come from the field, Go and sit down to meat? And will not rather say unto him, Make ready wherewith I may sup, and gird thyself, and serve me, till I have eaten and drunken; and afterward thou shalt eat and drink? Doth he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I trow not. So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do. 
(Luke 17:1-10)
Because she had now forgiven her husband all that he had done to her and not done for the family, and forgave him as he continued to hurt her, her new attitude became apparent to him and he unbent a little. Because he wasn't prepared to give up his good time with the boys, he went so far as to invite her to go with him on his weekend trips and "bring the kids along as long as they don't disgrace me." Now they had been eating game and fish, game and fish until the family was sick of the taste; and moreover she was offended at his mocking tone of voice, so she refused the invitation, time after time. 
Until one day, in her journey through the Bible, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit she read the following passage of Scripture and realised that her Lord had humbled Himself unto death, even the death of the cross: 
Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward. For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully. For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God. For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously: Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed. For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls. 
(1 Peter 2:18-25)
Was she prepared to humble her pride to her husband, the man that she had once made a covenant with, before God? The God that she now knew. Then she read the next passage:
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. 
(1 Peter 3:1-6)
She looked hard and long at the above Scripture and made a commitment that she would take God at His word and at the next time of asking she would accept her husband's offer. She did this with the faith that God's way was better than hers. 
The next time that her husband asked her to come trout fishing with him was at the dinner table and when she accepted, without any ifs or buts, he nearly choked on his food. When they arrived at the cottage next to the trout lake that Saturday morning, she realised what she had been missing; moreover, even the children were quiet in the presence of nature and when dad caught a nice trout everyone crowded around wanting to look and touch. Suddenly dad was a hero and when he showed them the secret of cubed trout steaks fried in butter and marsala they couldn't get enough. Suddenly the cries of "Oh no! Fish again; ma I'll have bread for supper" were stilled. On the way home that Sunday evening, after two pleasant and relaxing days in the open, they kept on recalling the events of the weekend, the children asking their dad when next they could come. 
That evening, in the privacy of their bedroom, Anne said, 
"Darling, you know that I have met the Lord don't you?" 
Ben replied, "Yes, I see the difference in you." 
"Well", she replied, "I've come to realise my sin and I ask that you forgive me for usurping your authority in the home. I want to hand it back to you and support you in future. Remember how wonderful it was when we were first married?" 
Need I go on?
As a reciprocal kindness he started going to church with his family and one day, at the graveside of his brother, dad met the Lord Jesus. 
Now they all go to church together and occasionally, when he goes trout fishing the family goes along; and some of them are better fishermen than him. 
In his journey through the Bible, he found the following Scripture to treasure: 
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. 
(1 Peter 3:7-9)
And remembered what his dad had taught him; With every privilege comes responsibility. 
God had given him the privilege of authority, of being the priest in the house, now he was responsible to his Saviour, Jesus Christ, to act like one and lead his family as he was being led by his Lord. We see here some of the Scriptures that were used for this purpose: 
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith. For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office: So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another. Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith; Or ministry, let us wait on our ministering: or he that teacheth, on teaching; Or he that exhorteth, on exhortation: he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that sheweth mercy, with cheerfulness. Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord; Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality. Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not. Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. 
(Romans 12:1-21)
Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law. For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law. And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed. 
(Romans 13:8-11)
By pureness, by knowledge, by longsuffering, by kindness, by the Holy Ghost, by love unfeigned, 
(2 Corinthians 6:6)
Furthermore, as he faithfully practised the Biblical teachings to the best of his ability, submitting himself to his Lord as his wife submitted her will to him and as he understood more as time went by, it became apparent that the family was being blessed in a spiritual way as God released power through the Holy Spirit into their lives. 
For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the LORD that hath mercy on thee. 
(Isaiah 54:10)
And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of thy children. In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee. Behold, they shall surely gather together, but not by me: whosoever shall gather together against thee shall fall for thy sake. Behold, I have created the smith that bloweth the coals in the fire, and that bringeth forth an instrument for his work; and I have created the waster to destroy. No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD. 
(Isaiah 54:13-17)